A fiery flame of rage burned my insides, my cheeks flushed, heartbeat fast as my breath accelerated. My legs were jumpy with anticipation to run, my arms ready to strike with tight fists. Thoughts piled one on top of another, stoking the fire. I decided to go for a walk to disburse some of the energy.
I could not handle this all on my own. After some time of cooling off, I called upon the Earth, Source energy, and my Higher Self and spirit guides for help to unravel the confusion of this emotional storm raging inside of me. I began to write down all my thoughts, fears, assumptions, emotions, hurts, anger. I put all of it into the pages of my notebook. And I asked for help to understand why I felt this way, what was going on with my partner and our energy dynamic. What was happening in this relationship? I needed a higher perspective because where I was emotionally did not feel good at all. I was unable to do anything for very long without the emotions resurfacing in subtle slips of words and actions that displayed the frustration inside.
Through writing within a sacred space, I was able to let out all the “unacceptable” thoughts and feelings that I could not verbally express and did not want to throw at other people. I allowed the tears to flow, let out deep exhales and allowed curiosity to rise. I asked questions of myself and answered them. I honed in on what was being triggered in me as a result of my interactions with another person and what part of me from the past was involved. What unresolved hurts were involved in my reaction?
Gradually a clarity and knowing of the truth emerged from the storm within, a higher truth beyond my ego’s story of how I had been done wrong.
I made the choice to listen to this different viewpoint that was arising from a wise place within me. A younger version of myself from the past appeared, who had felt abandoned and enraged at being ignored and unheard. The rage inside of me was her crying out for me to take care of her, to notice her, to love her, to never abandon her. I looked at the ways in which I was neglecting myself and wrote these down so I could see it on paper, where it was no longer hidden beneath other thoughts. I asked my guides to comfort and hold this younger self. I observed her at a distance, as my guides tended to her in my inner vision. I realized I need to make the decision to care for this younger aspect of myself. She needed me to listen to her need for protection and love. I could not expect someone else to do this for me. It was my job.
I had gotten into the habit of denying the existence of certain feelings and thoughts when they arose at “inconvenient”times. I hoped they would just go away. Of course, this did not work. Paying attention to what feels uncomfortable inside with honesty and curiosity instead of judgement turned out to be transformative.
I write while in sacred space to have spiritual guidance and unconditional support as I delve into self-reflection to look at emotions and personal conflicts, both internal and external. This way, I can ask my Higher Self, a spirit guide, or the Earth to help me transform & heal what is ready to be transformed and healed.
Creating sacred space means creating a safe energetic container by inviting the spiritual world to participate in your experience and hold protected space for it. You are a part of the spiritual world, as you are a spirit in a human body, and you can call upon your spiritual support that is always there. Your spiritual support team will show up if you ask it to help. This is about creating sacred space to be in ceremony with yourself and with spirit, with an intention to focus yourself for a specific reason.
When I create sacred space, I like to call in the spirits of the Four Directions and Center: East –Air element, South –Fire element, West –Water element, North –Earth element and Center (Above –Source of all life, Below- spirit of the Earth, & Within –your Higher Self/Soul). I invite them in in that order and then welcome all guides that are here for my highest good and the highest good of all. This is based on teachings of my tradition, but there are many ways to create sacred space.
The writing process below helps to grow personal power and emotional maturity. It guides you inside to look at the root causes of your discomfort.
I encourage you to enter into it with the intention to understand why something occurred, what you are learning from it, how it has been serving you, and how it has influenced how you are showing up in the world.
- Choose a time and space where you can have quiet time alone, with a notebook and pen. Start by creating sacred space to explore your inner landscapes. Find a way that feels right for you that honors the presence of the spiritual world in this process you are about to embark on.
Here are some ideas of how to begin: light a candle, play quiet background music, make your favorite tea, spray aromatherapy or burn sage to clear the space, dim the lights a little, get your favorite soft blanket, pillows, or sweater to get comfortable, etc. You are making the space with intention to create a safe place for you to be with yourself and allow self-expression through writing.
Next, send out a heartfelt invitation to the spirit of the Earth, the Source of all life, personal spirit guides, and your Higher Self to support you as you explore and work on the places inside that are not at peace- places where you hold onto memories and emotions of sorrow, anger, heartache, fear, jealousy, or other emotions. (You do not have to know who your personal spirit guides are in order to call upon them to be with you.) You can also invite the spirit of a plant or tree or animal species to be with you (such as “bear” or “lion”). If you feel a fondness for or special connection to this being, it can help you open your heart as you invite it and sense its presence.
Stay open to what comes through all your senses- in the form of images, sounds, physical sensations, smells, tastes, and intuitive knowing.
2. Writing by hand allows your subconscious mind to flow more easily.
Begin writing in your notebook about all the things on your mind and in your heart, without self-judgement. Especially notice how you are feeling about any recent situations, interactions, disagreements, memories, or whatever it is at that moment that is coming up for you presently. Notice if you are experiencing any physical pains or discomforts.
Notice if there are certain things you want to avoid thinking about or things that really activate a strong emotion in you- maybe there is something valuable to look at there. Get curious and ask questions to go deeper into what you feel resistant to.
If you have difficulty with what to write about, start with today or yesterday. What happened today or yesterday and how do you feel about it? Does it remind you of events or memories from the past? How are they linked? Are there any unresolved feelings? If so, ask how you can resolve it. Write the questions in your notebook and then answer them. Ask spirit to help you if you feel stuck. Keep writing and asking questions.
A couple of examples:
If you have a feeling of sadness, for example, write about the things you are unhappy or angry about. Then go back to read what you have written. Next, ask yourself questions such as when did this feeling begin? What is the origin of it? What happened? How did I feel at that time? How did I interpret what happened? How did it shape my view of the world? Am I still holding onto these feelings? How are they serving me now? Are they serving my highest good if I continue holding onto them? What do I need in order to transform and heal this and/or release it?
If you encounter a memory associated with a younger self (childhood, teenage or adulthood) that experienced a traumatic event, observe what happened to this younger self with the viewpoint of a third person as you replay the event or a portion of it in your mind. Imagine that you have stepped into your Higher Self and are observing with your Higher Self’s eyes. (Traumatic events could be something you consider to be catastrophic or something that, looking back, you think shouldn’t be traumatic, but it is important to acknowledge how that younger self perceived it at the time and honor the feeling with compassion.)
What can be done to help that younger self feel better? What did they need back then? Did they need someone to love them or protect them or soothe their hurts? Did they need courage or strength or love or tenderness? Imagine your younger self receiving what they need to feel loved, protected, and cared for. You can imagine the spirit of the Earth, Source energy, your Higher Self, or a spirit guide stepping in to fulfill this role of giving the younger self what they need.
As you give to this part of yourself, you also receive it in the present time. Notice how your body feels, if there are sensations moving through it as you receive this care. Take several longer deeper inhales and exhales to move the energy through you.
3. Remember to stay present in your body. Take deep breaths as emotions surface, especially if you feel tension in the body. Acknowledge the emotions and tension and breathe them out through your open mouth. Allow yourself to be vulnerable with spirit and be receptive to guidance. Be honest with yourself about how you are feeling. If you need to get up and physically shake your body, do it! Stretch, loosen it up and come back.
Take your time to work through and process what needs to move and evolve within you. If you wish to release what no longer serves you, ask the Earth or Source to take it, imagine it leaving your body and transforming into light. Asked to be filled up with loving light from your Higher Self, guides, the Earth, and/or Source energy.
4. When you have come to a place of completion for this session, thank the sources of spiritual support that you invited in earlier and ask them to continue to support and guide you in the coming days, weeks, months. I recommend having transition time afterwards where you do not have to rush off to do anything.
You can always create intentional sacred space on another day to continue working on things if you want to explore further into something that has come up. If you feel like you need to break it up over many days, that is fine.
Follow your own timeline with your healing process. You don’t have to resolve everything in one day! This practice of writing and listening to your inner self is exactly that- a practice. As you pay attention to what comes into your awareness over the next days and weeks, notice what is shifting inside of you- are you reacting differently or thinking differently about something than how you used to? Are more things rising to the surface to be acknowledged, transformed, and/or released?
Be gentle with yourself and practice compassion for the parts of yourself that are still learning how to evolve. Try accepting the emotions, actions, and events from the past, knowing that you are learning how to heal and grow.
The future of all those with whom we share our planet depends on our ability to heal the rage, hurt, and pain within ourselves. We can start to create systems that support life instead of suppressing, destroying or controlling it. It starts with us- with our own life system. We have to look within at how we are treating ourselves and other beings. We each have a choice to personally grow and to find our personal connection to spirit. Your willingness to do this for yourself contributes to a world unfolding where humans are in balance with all life systems and the Earth.